ann and andy lawrenson

Roger and Svetlana left this morning after a very pleasant week which included an excellent meal at the Alahuar hotel at Benimaurell and far too much food and drink. How can you put on 2.5 kilos in 5 days? High spot though was the classy game of “Come the Revolution” that we played last night. For those who have not tried it, the rules are simple. Those assembled imagine that they are part of a new world government and that for the benefit of the human race they are allowed to dispose of 10 people immediately.

1. Anyone may nominate anybody, but in order to be in the top 10 the decision must be unanimous. If you play with more than four you may have to introduce a majority verdict rule or you could be up all night.
2. In general, despots such as Mugabe and Kim Jong-Un are to be ignored. Nominations should be of people who are unbearably irritating, smug, dishonest, hypocritical, have horrible grating voices or just generally get on everyone´s wick.
3. Proposers are entitled to support their candidate by repeating scurrilous rumours, unsubstantiated gossip and credible “false news” about their nominee. All such supportive material must be given in an erudite and confident manner. Roger has developed a particularly powerful technique in this respect, stating on behalf of several of his candidates “Well, he´s a complete _______ isn´t he”? before fixing one with a basilisk stare and daring one to dispute it. One has to say that in most cases his judgement is sound.
4. All participants must consume a random mix of Kir Royale, beer, cider, red, white and rosé wines,  brandy, mistella, coffee liqueur, Armagnac and limoncella during the course of the evening.                                                                                                                   Among candidates receiving considerable support were Donald Trump, Russell Brand, Gordon Ramsey, Michael Gove and Sarah Vine (a joint nomination on the basis that there is no point in disposing of the puppet if the puppet master is still extant), George Galloway, Dianne Abbott, Simon Cowell, Jeremy Paxman, Nigella Lawson, Tom Cruise (never to be forgiven for playing Jack Reacher), James Naughtie, Marine Le Pen, Boris Johnson, Gwyneth Paltrow and Carol Klein, but the list was long and discussion fierce.                                                                                                 A warning…. This can be addictive. I am told that I awoke in the night, shouted “Janet Street-Porter, Tony B. Liar, Camilla Long, Sharmi Chakrabati” and went back to sleep. However, they won´t escape my net next time.